~2011~

I am up way past my 8:00 bed time so i decided to write. I've been thinking about how much I've learned about myself this past year 2010 was a great Learning year for me. I learned not to depend on anyone but my family. Ive learned not to trust anyone but myself. Im the only person who can give myslef what i truly want in life. I want to give my little girl the best life possible. I will never settle for less or let anyone stop me again. This year im going to focus on ME and my DAUGHTER. We may be small but we are a FAMILY. Sometimes I wonder how people juggle having a husband and 4 kids. When i can barley juggle Hallie and Work, and Bills of course. Why do people get married when it means focusing on one other person besides there child. Not to sound negative but why would you put a man before your kid, how could you love a man more than your kid. I guess im just not ready. My mom tells me when i find "the one" they wont just seem like a burden on my shoulder. For me even having to text a boyfriend during the day is pathetic, sorry guys i just dont have time to worry about what you are doing when i dont even have my whole life planned out..haha i know my thoughts are bizaire. I use to always say "when i get married". but forget that i am making all my wildest dreams come true without a husband without a boyfriend. Go back to school, get a house, move far far away from arizona people. Except for the few i love. so thankful for my amazing best friends and my wonderful family, and most of all my biggest blessing HALLIE NICOLE RICKS!